Blowfly Girl Retrospective
Dec. 9th, 2023 05:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
haii2uHappy holidays to those who celebrate! We're still getting set up for Christmas in the HAii2u household and the season always has me feeling a little wistful. Plus I just started my period so that's certainly not helping things. I've talked about her before on my previous blog, but I was just thinking again about Blowfly Girl and how much her story resonated with me when I was younger.
The story of Blowfly Girl was at its most popular during the early internet days with similar pieces of shocking content like the infamous "blue waffle" image or "2 girls 1 cup". Her original maggot story is the most widely spread one, though I know she has at least three more on her blog. I won't be recounting it here but you can look it up for yourself; a warning though: it is very explicit and grisly.
Unlike the aforementioned shock content which would often just be a one-off pornographic image or video, there's a lot more to Blowfly Girl's story. In her blog entries she details her struggles with depression, mental illness, and an overwhelming desire for self-destruction.
The entry that sticks with me the most is this excerpt from an August 2013 post titled "Down":
Whenever she posted these kinds of things, she'd often wave it off in the next paragraph or entry by detailing a sexual fantasy she had which to me just felt like burying the subject. But she's written how pervasive this feeling is, how it never goes away even when she temporarily satisfies the urge to scar herself.
I can't say I know for certain how she feels; to do so I think would be arrogant. But I understand to a certain extent. There's a depraved need to outwardly show how sick you feel on the inside. People often like to ignore the darker side of mental illness, so why not show them just how bad it can get? Just how bad I can get?
But as I've gotten older I've come to realize that nothing good comes of that way of thinking. People will continue to turn a blind eye to these things, and you'll sink deeper and deeper into this self destruction until there's nothing left of you to ruin.
Other than the small bits of what she's shared online, Blowfly Girl's identity largely remains a mystery. We know she should be 42 now, and as of 2016 she lives in Illinois as a manager for a law office. Sometimes I get the urge to e-mail her, but I always hesitate. What even is there to say? "Hello, our lives are barely alike but I've formed a version of you in my mind that parallels my experiences 1:1. How are you doing?"
Regardless, I still check up on her blog every couple of months, hoping there's a new update where she's doing well.
The story of Blowfly Girl was at its most popular during the early internet days with similar pieces of shocking content like the infamous "blue waffle" image or "2 girls 1 cup". Her original maggot story is the most widely spread one, though I know she has at least three more on her blog. I won't be recounting it here but you can look it up for yourself; a warning though: it is very explicit and grisly.
Unlike the aforementioned shock content which would often just be a one-off pornographic image or video, there's a lot more to Blowfly Girl's story. In her blog entries she details her struggles with depression, mental illness, and an overwhelming desire for self-destruction.
The entry that sticks with me the most is this excerpt from an August 2013 post titled "Down":
When I was young, I was damaged. As a person. Not physically damaged; I've done way more to hurt my body than anyone else ever did to me. I mean me as the core of my being, the place where I think and feel from, where I separate me from the rest of the world. That's where I'm damaged. I'm the loaf of bread with a fuzzy oval of green mold on it. I'm the pretty face with an unfortunate blemish. Sure, she's nice, but there's something about her... It's that kind of damage.
Whenever she posted these kinds of things, she'd often wave it off in the next paragraph or entry by detailing a sexual fantasy she had which to me just felt like burying the subject. But she's written how pervasive this feeling is, how it never goes away even when she temporarily satisfies the urge to scar herself.
I can't say I know for certain how she feels; to do so I think would be arrogant. But I understand to a certain extent. There's a depraved need to outwardly show how sick you feel on the inside. People often like to ignore the darker side of mental illness, so why not show them just how bad it can get? Just how bad I can get?
But as I've gotten older I've come to realize that nothing good comes of that way of thinking. People will continue to turn a blind eye to these things, and you'll sink deeper and deeper into this self destruction until there's nothing left of you to ruin.
Other than the small bits of what she's shared online, Blowfly Girl's identity largely remains a mystery. We know she should be 42 now, and as of 2016 she lives in Illinois as a manager for a law office. Sometimes I get the urge to e-mail her, but I always hesitate. What even is there to say? "Hello, our lives are barely alike but I've formed a version of you in my mind that parallels my experiences 1:1. How are you doing?"
Regardless, I still check up on her blog every couple of months, hoping there's a new update where she's doing well.
